So pissed at my parents right now!
I know, a common dilemma for a teenager. But truth be told I’ve only been this pissed at them about 3-5 times in my whole life. And what’s so infuriating about it is that the problem is so small!
Through the years, my parents have taught me a lot, and I’m sure yours have too.
But there were two things that really stuck to me…
From my Dad, I learned that: EVERYTHING is my fault.
Pros: I never put blame on anyone. If something goes wrong in a project, I take responsibility, even if I wasn’t the one responsible. I was trained to solve my own problems, and rarely seek help from anyone.
Cons: The cons are pretty obvious. Whenever something goes wrong in my life, I automatically, instinctively blame myself. It’s a constant downer, probably one of the causes of my self esteem problems.
How did this happen? Well, basically in the house when something breaks I’m automatically blamed. Even if I have problems in school, or with people. Which of course is partly true, but it gets really irritating when you want your dad to be on your side on something, but instead blames it all on you, then tells you how stupid you are.
Sometimes I hate it, sometimes I don’t… But I can’t get rid of it now even if I wanted to.
From my Mom, I learned to: Never jump to conclusions. Always keep an open mind.
Pros: I never judge by physical appearance or rumors I hear. I size up people only when I get to know them. I keep an open mind, and adjust to new information quickly.
Cons: The pros part wasn’t taught to me by mom the conventional way. She was actually doing the complete opposite of that. Always jumping to conclusions, always so close minded and prideful.
How did this happen? Well as a kid, seeing your mom yelling angrily at other people for things SHE DID then bitching about it in front of everyone really screws you up. I’m thankful that I had the good sense of knowing the right thing or else I might have ended up as a violent gangster or something.
I vowed to myself not to become like her. But occasionally, her upbringing of me slips out. Because of what I always see in her, I’m extremely hot tempered, and my patience is as short as a toothpick. And I really hate those things about me…
I came home from school about an hour ago. Stuck in 4 hours of traffic, and had to walk about a mile just to my next stop.
When I finally got home, there was nothing….
No "Welcome home!", no hug, no smile at me… nothing…
I shook it off because I was tired anyways.
I was set to just lay down in my bed. Use my laptop, and Tumblr till I fall asleep.
Then my mom finally says something to me. Not "Welcome home", not have you eaten yet… It was "I need you to do something…".
And it was to edit a video or something for their Christmas performance due tomorrow.
Of course, I couldn’t say no. It’s due tomorrow, I have to, or she’ll call me an ungrateful bastard or something…
Then she does decide to cook something, and we all eat… All three of us… for a good 10-15 minutes. Not a word was said. Frankly because these two are “in a fight” and apparently hate each other.
Having one in the room with me is fine, having both of them is rancid. Like I either want to leave the room or yell at them to grow up and cut it out.
So yeah, now I’m here at “home”, forced to edit a video I couldn’t care less about, living with two people who despise each other…
Well, Merry Christmas to me then…
Sometimes my parents guilt me into doing things that they know they aren’t actually going to do, they just want me to do it.
One common line from my mom is:
"I’ve been working all day and this is what I come home to!? Dirty dishes!?" (Translated)
So of course I’m gonna clean the dishes, but I’m not very happy about it. Not because I cleaned dishes, but because someone yelled at me again, and I hate that…
And I understand she’s tired from work, but I could also be in a bad mood that night and get really mad easily…
She could have easily said:
"Korks, go clean the dishes cuz I’m tired from work" (Translated)
I would still do it, but I wouldn’t be pissed off while doing it. Because it was subtle, and non-aggressive, and I would understand without being yelled at…
They always say that I get mad when they “ask” me to do things at the house. I actually don’t… I like tidying up the house, and basically any activity cuz I get bored easily.
I get mad because everytime they “ask” me there’s always a side comment like:"You don’t do anything around the house at all except use the computer" (Translated)
I understand their situations sometimes, but I’m still a person, I get offended by things, and being yelled at is one of them.
This is the reason why I believe in the saying:
"It’s not what you say… it’s how you say it…"